Need a laugh?

My cousin sent these to me. I was laughing so hard I was in tears! The following were printed in church bulletins.

1. The Fasting & Prayer conference includes meals.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

3. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

4. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

6. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

11. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

12. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

13. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

14. Potluck super Sunday at 5:00pm - prayer and medication to follow.

15. This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

16. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

17. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

18. Weight Watchers will meet at 7PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Thanks Fern!