It's back

I haven't blogged about Dad in quite a while because it's been too hard to talk about. After I gave a lesson to the Young Women at church yesterday on the importance of keeping a journal, I decided I better practice what I preach!

Dad's cancer is back. Once again it's in the esophagus, stomach, lymph nodes and liver. This time causing psychical pain in the area of the liver. I am now convinced that stress, anxiety, depression and panic attacks are what brought on Dad's cancer to begin with. During Mom's long illness and eventual death my father suffered as he never had before in his life with panic attacks, depression, etc. After the medication helped get that under control, a few short months later the cancer was discovered. (Before the cancer discovery Dad was feeling good mentally and his psychiatrist agreed that Dad could go off his antidepressants.) Dad's first rounds of chemo fought back the cancer and he was told from his doctor that a miracle had occurred... after three treatments my father was in "complete remission". We were elated! BUT... the chemo was to continue anyway. Hearing this news sent my father back into depression and severe anxiety. He went back to the psychiatrist and back on the medications. He continued the chemo treatments as he suffered with anxiety and depression on top of the chemo side affects... constipation, stomach pain, diarrhea, loss of appetite, and so on. In time another PET scan was ordered showing the cancer had returned. Prior to getting those PET scan results Dad had intense pain on his right side. He called me one morning saying he hurt himself, pulled a muscle from over exertion the day before taking down his heavy over sized picnic table. I called his family doctor and got him in for an appointment. Dr. Eyer really thought it was his liver, not a pulled muscle, and as it turns out, he was right. The PET scan results proved this to be true as well. Cancer was back in the liver as well as the other three areas. I really think if Dad hadn't gone back into a poor mental state, the cancer wouldn't have come back in the way that it did. Dad has since been put on a different chemo regiment. He has had two of those treatments. They were unable to give him the third one when it was scheduled because his white blood count and platelet count was too low. At this point his depression and anxiety seem under control. Today he is due for that third chemo treatment, but he just called telling me he has horrible diarrhea and doesn't think he can go! I spoke with Becky, the one cancer nurse, and she said Dad really needs to be seen today, although he may not receive the chemo. I have sat through each of Dad's chemo treatments. Kaden, my four year old is with me too. He is such a trooper, very well behaved! I have come to dread the treatments just as much as Dad does. I'm hoping together, I can help him through them. Prayers on my father's behalf are always appreciated.