The day Mom passed away

Now that the kids are back in school, I feel like I can take the time to catch up with my journal/blog. I want to write down about Mom's death and funeral before too much time gets away and I forget what I want my children to remember.

On the morning of Monday, July 20, 2009 Dad went to the nursing home to feed Mom her breakfast, as he did many mornings. Dad and their church had been arranging for someone to be with Mom over all three meal times each day. We thought she would eat better if the one feeding her was able to take their time, and if Mom knew them. I had been doing every Tuesday and Thursday lunch. That Monday morning Dad fed her. She ate oatmeal and yogurt, the usual. Other foods were becoming too difficult to chew. After her meal, Dad and the family doctor stood by Mom's bed and talked. It was time to put Mom on "comfort care" and to call in Hospice. Perhaps in hearing that conversation, Mom felt it was her time to go. She had suffered long enough. Dad went back home. About an hour later his phone rang. Mom had passed away at approximately 10:10 am. I had plans to make and can zucchini pickles that morning and went out to get a couple more things that I needed to do so. I was in Food Lion when the cell phone rang. It was Dad. "Gwenda, Mother passed away this morning." I stood with my grocery cart near the check out lines and started to cry. A complete stranger asked if I was OK. I told her my mother just died. She offered to drive me home. I declined her offer, but did ask if she would see that my cart and groceries got put away. I went out to the van and called Dale and my niece Dottie. When I got home I told Kassie, Brady and Ashton that Nana died. They each hugged me and told me they were sorry. Kaden was too young to fully understand. I then had to drive into the school to pick up Avery, Bryson and Kenzie. When I told them, Kenzie cried, the boys were just silent. After taking them back home I drove to the nursing home to see Mom before Peter's Funeral Home was to come and take her. After my time with Mom I joined other family members that were also there. When the funeral director arrived, we watched as they removed Mom from the room. Afterward, we all gathered back at Dad's house and started making plans for the funeral. Dad wanted upbeat church hymns, no depressing organ music. We searched through the hymnal and made a list. Several of the songs we picked Dale would play on his fiddle just before the funeral service would begin.

The next day we all met at the funeral home in the morning and at the church that afternoon to finalize the service. The funeral was held at the same church Mom and Dad were married in 49 years, 11 months and 2 weeks prior to Mom's death.

This is also the church in which I was raised. The funeral was Saturday, July 25. We had a viewing from 9:30 until 11:00. The funeral service then started at 11:00. What a blessing for me to have my friends attend Mom's service. Thank you Brother and Sister Reid, Ruth Reid, Corky, Amy, Lori, Barb, Maren, and Diane. It really meant so much for you to be there. I'm glad you could hear about my mother, and I too wish you could have really known her.
It was a beautiful service. Afterward there was a meal at the church prepared by Mom and Dad's good friends the Harrisons. Great food, good fellowship, fond memories shared.

The flowers on top Mom's casket from the family.

Pallbearers left to right: My husband Dale, my oldest son Brady, brother Dave (second born), brother Tim (the youngest), my nephew Ridge (Dave's son, oldest grandchild) and my brother Mike (the oldest).

Dad told me later that a recording was made of the funeral service. I'm hoping to get a copy. I thought Mike and my niece Brooke both did a great job with their talks and memories of Mom. I would also like to hear again Mom's favorite song being sung by our friend Beth Bowser Hollenberg. His Eye Is On The Sparrow -- it was absolutely beautiful!!

I'm not sure which version of the song Beth sang, but here are at least some of the words:

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Refrain:I sing because I’m happy,

I sing because I’m free,

For His eye is on the sparrow,

and I know He watches me

.
“Let not your heart be troubled,”

His tender word I hear,

And resting on His goodness,

I lose my doubts and fears;

Though by the path He leadeth,

but one step I may see;

His eye is on the sparrow,

and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

and I know He watches me.
Whenever I am tempted,

whenever clouds arise,

When songs give place to sighing,

when hope within me dies,

I draw the closer to Him,

from care He sets me free;

His eye is on the sparrow,

and I know He watches me;

His eye is on the sparrow,

and I know He watches me.